We buried my maternal grandmother. After an 18 month fight with an aggressive variety of dementia, Nana finally passed away. I was there for the last two weeks of her life. And while there are many memories that I would like to fade away, I am finally at a place and time where it doesn't hurt so badly to think of her. And so today, I'm going to pay my respects to Nana, my way....
My grandmother was born & raised in New England, in the 1920's & 1930's. She had very clear memories of The Great Depression and was an upstanding, thrifty Yankee in all senses of the word. She married my grandfather at the age of 18, and as he was in the Navy - their early married years were full of moving adventures.
In spite of 63 years of up's & down's, they were very much in love and devoted to one another. We, the family, really thought that losing Nana would kill Grampy; but he's surprised us with how resiliant he is and 3 years later he continues to bring JOY to our lives. [This was their 60th anniversary photo.]
They had 4 children; two boys & two girls. Although the order was girl, boy, boy, girl, over 13 years. Those children have gone on to give them 10 grandchildren and thus far 6 great-grandchildren. At Grampy's 80th birthday, we had a chance to get a photo of as many of us as possible.
And then again in 2007 at a family wedding.
Throughout her life, Nana was a hard worker. She had many jobs, mostly clerical in nature. At one point she was the "Girl Friday" at the local police department. Later she was a administrative assistant at a Shriner's Hospital for Crippled Children.
She was also a devoted Catholic and a pillar in the local religious community. And she was musical. She loved to sing. And she was an accomplished organist. It wasn't until we were going though a box of very old vintage family photos that I heard about the time in the early 1940's when Nana's church sponsored her to study organ playing at a school in New York City. I so wish that I could have heard the story from her, but I'm thrilled to know that detail from her early years. It also makes me realize that one of these days, I'm going to get serious and finally learn to play piano. I've wanted to for 33+ years now, so it really is getting to be time. And maybe, there's a little bit of talent that runs in the family - we just don't know it yet.... Sadly, I don't think I have any photos of her at the organ that sat in the living room. But here is a vintage shot of her & the other student along with their instructors the nuns [Nana is without a hat.]:
Nana was also fiercely devoted to her family -- all the branches. In this 4 generation shot, Yours Truely is the cute toddler with the pigtails:
In the past decade or so, there have been some splits and in-fighting and family politics. [As I am sure there are in most families, especially the larger they get.] But through it all, Nana maintained that we were all family and that we should all watch out for one another. She worried about all involved, whether they wanted her concern or not.
I take great comfort from the fact that in the last days of her life, I was one of her key caregivers. And I hope that it provided her some comfort to know that she was at home and surrounded by all her family. And for a time, everyone was able to put their hurt feelings aside and come together for this incredible woman.
Her wake, mass & funeral were an incredible celebration of her life. Because of her service to the local police department, she had an honor guard for the funeral procession. I find it's difficult to come up with words now. So instead, I'll share these photographs that I took three years ago....
Funny story -- when it came to leave St Michael's for the cemetery, the limo for the family wouldn't start. So even though the hearse was set to go, we all decided that Nana wasn't ready to leave church yet. It was a small beam of humor on a very sad day....
